Relaxation

by Peter Antonenko - Psychologist

Are you crazy busy?

As we forge into the second millennium, I wonder if we, as a society, can keep up the pace we have set ourselves over the past few decades. We rush from business appointment to personal appointment, social engagement to career meeting, from gym to dinner party, and maybe, if we’re lucky, manage to squeeze in a few hours’ sleep.

Yep - It’s pressure, pressure, pressure, as we strive to prove ourselves in our personal and/or professional lives. We create a vacuum within that is so full of feelings and thoughts tumbling over each other that anything else seems like a waste of time. Why sit around doing nothing - or worse, something we actually enjoy - when the pressure is on to perform? After all, in the time it takes to have a massage, do the gardening, see a movie or have a social game of tennis, we could have held two meetings, chewed out at least one staff member and possibly even written that overdue report!

And so it goes on - in the same way that a captive mouse will run along a moving wheel for hours at a time, we trudge along on our own non-stop treadmill. But in all this rushing around, haven’t we forgotten something? Something that is imperative to our physical and mental wellbeing? Yes, we’ve forgotten how to:

Apart from the obvious life-enhancing effects, spending time in relaxation is something we need to do if we want to maintain our health and stamina. If you are one of the lucky ones, your body’s warning signals will let you know that you have been overdoing it, and maybe, if you are perceptive enough, you’ll slow down and take some time out. But if you ignore the warning sign’s, Nature will eventually step in and force you off life’s often exhausting merry-go-round.

Unfortunately, when Nature is forced to give a helping hand, we must suffer because of it. A head cold or feeling a bit rundown may seem a small price to pay for getting things done, but in reality your body is telling you it needs some time off. It’s tired, exhausted, and your immune system is not working at its best potential.

All your energy has already been spent and your body has not had time to replenish its supplies. And when this happens, your simple head cold could turn into the flu, or something worse, and instead of a few days’ rest you might well be forced to take weeks away from the daily grind.

There is some good news, however. You can take steps to avoid the anxiety backlash and hence improve your quality of life on a daily basis. A few hours spent each day in relaxation will improve your general performance and you’ll find that your mental alertness and physical stamina increase quite dramatically too. If you are a physical person, yoga or some form of gentle, repetitive movement is one of the best way’s of relaxing. Perhaps having a friendly game of tennis or squash will help you regain your perspective and forget about your daily workload or troubles. And, of course, there is the old favourite of having a massage. Once thought of as a luxury, having a massage release built-up tension and stress and can leave you with the floating being of being thoroughly relaxed and content.

It’s unfortunate that, in some cases, the word relaxation is overused - spending the night in a pub, drinking too much and eating junk food can hardly be accurately described as ‘relaxing’. Nor does sitting down for a few hours, not physically doing anything but letting your mind run into overtime, have the desired effect.

Relaxing means doing something we enjoy!

It’s a time when we empty our heads of negative, stressful thoughts and turn our attention to the pleasant tasks that make life worth living. Relaxing is an art form within itself and, like every other worthwhile exercise, takes practise - especially if you are one of those people who have forgotten, or who have never known, how to do it.

The best advice I can give is to write a list of activities you enjoy and which you think may help you to relax, such as listening to music, watching a movie, walking along the beach or through the countryside, having a picnic or doing the gardening, just to name a few. Relaxation strategies differ from person to person, but the need remains the same.

If the pressure really does get too much, simple breathing and muscle relaxant exercises can help you cope in the immediate term. Try breathing through your nose over a count of ten; i.e. start counting as you begin to breathe, drawing your breath deep into your diaphragm until you reach the count of ten. Hold it for another count of ten and then breathe out through your mouth, again over the count of ten. Try to make your mind go blank and concentrate on drawing oxygen deep into your body. Repeat this at least ten times.

You could also try lying flat on your back and, beginning at your toes, relax each muscle group until your limbs feel heavy. Move slowly up your body; next are you calves, your thighs and your pelvis. Don’t move onto the next muscle group until the area feels heavy; like lead. It’s quite simple to do but does require some concentration, and if you do this before retiring for the day, you’ll probably find that you have a great night’s sleep!

Once you become aware of the need to relax you will become more aware of how your body responds to pressure and how, if at all, it releases it. Stand in front of a full length mirror. Consciously relax and have a look at your posture. Are you slightly hunched over, or do you stand up straight? Being hunched over inhibits your breathing; clenched muscles in your arms or chest signify an immediate need to relax your body. Lift your chin, straighten your spine and expand your chest, breathing deeply through your nose and out through your mouth. The effects should be almost immediate. The same goes for other habits, such as ‘wringing your hands’, fidgeting or clenching your fists. Once your become aware of these habits, you can try to reverse the effects by ‘undoing’ your bad habits whenever you are aware of them.

Do you clench your teeth during times of extreme pressure? Or has it become such a habit that you don’t even notice that you do it? People who clench their teeth can have all sorts of problems; pressure on the teeth puts pressure on your jaw joints, and you can end up having terrible headaches and other muscular and joint problems. If you suffer from this affliction, ask your dentist about splints, that are used to help relieve this condition, or a cheaper alternative is to open your mouth as wide as possible, hold it, then release it. Do this a few times every time you think of it, giving your jaw a bit of a workout and relieving the pressure on your joints.

I believe one of the best ways a person can learn to relax on a regular basis is by taking up yoga through an accredited school or teacher. Yoga is gentle on the body and is an ancient for of movement specifically used to achieve a deep level of total relaxation. Best of all, yoga can be used at any fitness level, from the first-timer to the elite athlete. It involves gentle stretching of the joints and limbs, releasing blocked energy paths and allowing ‘clean’ energy to flow through your body. It can seem difficult to beginners - and some of those postures seem to be out of this world! - but those who are able to master this remarkably effective form of movement report looser limbs, peace of mind and much improved flexibility.

Naturally, some people will find relaxing easier than others. Those who suffer from anxiety or stress may require the help of a registered practitioner while others, once they apply themselves, will fin the time to relax and go on to lead healthier, happier and less anxiety-ridden lives. Just remember, if you decide you do need some professional help in this area, seek the advice of a qualified counselor or psychologist.